Raise your child as a team.

A parenting alignment app for couples. Sit down together, take one decision at a time, and agree how you’ll handle it.

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The problem

You find out you disagree at 3 a.m.

Nobody plans to argue about a pacifier. It happens because the question turns up before the conversation does, when you are tired and one of you is already doing it your own way.

Why it keeps happening

  1. 01

    You were each raised one way

    What feels obvious to you is what you grew up with, or the exact opposite of it.

  2. 02

    You assumed you agreed

    You agree on the big things, so nobody checked the small ones. There are hundreds of small ones.

  3. 03

    It comes up at the worst time

    The first conversation tends to happen tired, in public or in front of family.

67%

of couples in the Gottman Institute’s study of new parents saw their satisfaction with the relationship fall sharply in the first three years of their baby’s life.

Shapiro, Gottman and Carrère, Journal of Family Psychology, 2000

It does not mean you chose the wrong person. It means there were 281 decisions and nobody handed you the list.

You cannot skip every argument. You can stop having them for the first time at 3 a.m.

Start deciding together

What the research can settle

Most parenting advice is less settled than it sounds

We labelled the evidence behind every decision in the app. This is how they split.

have a well-established answer
11%
have evidence that leans one way, is disputed or is still changing
42%
are yours to call, on values rather than data
47%
See the numbers

How we handle that

So we show you the options, not the answer

Three rules the whole app follows.

No right answers

We lay out the real options without ranking them, because nearly half of these calls come down to your values, not data.

Evidence, honestly labelled

Every topic says whether the guidance is settled, contested or just a matter of taste — and links to the sources.

Built for two

Go through it side by side, one decision at a time. If you would rather not sway each other, answer separately first and compare.

How it works

From “I assumed you’d…” to “we agreed”

Four steps, at your own pace.

  1. Step 1

    Pick where to start

    Choose the stage you are in or the areas on your mind. Nothing has to be done in order.

  2. Step 2

    Take one decision together

    Each one lays out the real options and how strong the evidence is.

  3. Step 3

    Talk it through and decide

    Use the questions to talk. Settle it, or flag it to come back to.

  4. Step 4

    Keep your plan

    Everything you agreed, on one page to revisit or share.

Optional

Rather not sway each other?

Each of you can answer on your own first. Compare then shows where you already match and where you differ, so you know what to talk about before you decide.

By stage

You don’t have to decide everything today

Topics are sorted by when they matter. Birth plans and parental leave have deadlines; teenage curfews can wait a decade.

  1. Stage 198 topicsBefore babyBest settled during pregnancy or at the birth
  2. Stage 236 topicsFirst year0–12 months
  3. Stage 377 topicsToddler & preschoolAges 1–5
  4. Stage 439 topicsSchool yearsAges 5–10
  5. Stage 527 topicsTween & teenAges 10–18
  6. Stage 64 topicsAnytimeRevisit as your child grows

Who it helps

Wherever the two of you are starting from

The questions are the same for everyone. Where you begin depends on your situation.

What is covered

Everything that comes with raising a child

23 categories, from the first hospital hour to the first car keys.

How we work as a team

How we decide togetherWho decides what, how ties break, and what each of you wants to repeat or avoid from your own childhood.Parenting philosophy and goalsWarm and firm, child-led or structured — and what you're ultimately raising your child for.Roles, work and the coupleWho does what, who scales back at work, and how you protect your relationship once there are three of you.

Pregnancy to first birthday

Pregnancy, birth and arrivalCare provider, birth setting, pain plan, visitors and the postpartum weeks.Newborn medical choicesVitamin K, vaccines, circumcision and the other decisions made in the first hours and days.Feeding the babyBreast, formula or both, pumping, bottles — and how to start solids, including baby-led weaning.SleepWhere baby sleeps, how safe sleep works, and whether and how to sleep-train.Everyday baby careBabywearing, diapering, gear, monitors and how quickly to respond to crying.

Raising the child

Discipline and behaviorTime-outs, consequences, rewards, yelling, tantrums — the area couples disagree about most.Emotions and resilienceHow you respond to big feelings, fear, failure and frustration.Food and eatingPicky eaters, sweets, family meals and how food talk shapes a child's relationship with eating.Health, body and toiletingPotty training, doctors, dental care, body privacy, consent and puberty.Safety, risk and independenceHow much risk is okay, from baby-proofing and car seats to guns and walking to school alone.

Learning & the wider world

Childcare and early learningWho cares for baby while you work, when to start, and which early-learning philosophy fits.School and academicsPublic, private or home; homework, grades, tutoring and what comes after high school.Play, activities and enrichmentFree play versus scheduled activities, sports, music, camps and languages at home.Screens, phones and digital lifeScreen time, first phone, social media, games, AI — and what you post about your child.The teen yearsDating, alcohol, driving, privacy, mental health and how you'll talk about sex and identity.

The family system

Money, chores and responsibilityAllowance, chores, college funds and how much to spend on kids.Values, character and family cultureWhich values come first, honesty and Santa, hard conversations and family rituals.Extended family and communityGrandparents' role and boundaries, holidays, heritage and building your village.Family size and siblingsHow many children, how far apart, and how to handle fairness and rivalry.Legal, financial and "what if" planningWills, guardianship, insurance and the contingencies nobody likes to plan for.

Evidence labels

Know when it’s a fact and when it’s a preference

Every decision carries one of these labels.

Questions people ask

What is Raising Your Child?
Raising Your Child is a free web app for couples, a parenting alignment tool. You go through parenting decisions together, one at a time. Each one shows the real options, how strong the evidence is and questions to talk through, and what you agree is kept as a plan. If you would rather not sway each other, each of you can answer separately first and compare.
Who is it for?
It is made for two people raising a child together, especially expecting and first-time parents. It also works later on, because topics run from pregnancy through the teen years.
How does it work?
There are four steps. First, pick where to start: the stage you are in or the areas on your mind. Second, take one decision together and look at the options and the evidence. Third, talk it through, then mark it decided or flag it to come back to. Fourth, everything you agreed is kept on one page called Our plan. Answering separately first and comparing is optional.
Is it free?
Yes. The app is free to use.
Do we need an account?
No. You can start right away and your answers are saved in your browser. Creating an account with an email address lets you keep your answers and open them on another device.
How do two partners use it together?
The usual way is to sit down together, choose Both in the switcher at the top, and decide each topic as a pair. To answer separately first, switch to your own name and then your partner’s, and open Compare, under Our plan, to see where you match. On separate devices, each of you answers on your own, then one exports their answers as a file and the other imports it in Compare.
All questions

Start the conversation.

No pressure, no judgment. Just an honest, private place to work out how you two want to do this.

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